I Put A Spell On You

This story is based on a true event.

"He seems to me to be equal in good fortune

to the gods, whatever man, who sits on the

opposite side to you and listens to your

sweet replies

and desire-inducing laugh: indeed,

That gets my heart pounding in my chest.

For just gazing at you for a second,

it is impossible for me even to talk;

my tongue is as broken,
all at once a soft flame

has stolen beneath my flesh,

my eyes see nothing but you,

my ears ring,

sweat pours down me, a tremor

shakes me, and I believe I am at

the very point of fainting."

- Sappho, Fragment 31

Part 1

I wasn't planning on doing anything at Halloween last year, but when my friend texted me and said that she had a spare ticket for our local hotel's 'Spells 'n' Daggers' event that night, I agreed to meet her there. I made the best costume that I could in the little amount of time that I had, called a taxi, and within the hour I was at the Cliff Lodge Hotel. My friend had neglected to inform me that she was actually working on the door for the event, so after putting my coat in the cloakroom, I decided to go and get a drink and get a feel for the evening. There was a distinctively delightful and inviting atmosphere, with many guests dressed in all sorts of eye catching costumes, including a handful of ghastly ghouls and decadent Grand Guignol ghosts, and also, a rather striking and confident looking lady, who had a very long red wig, and in her vampyre costume looked as if she was probably only using this party as a starting point for a wondrous night ahead. I decided to have a wander around the hotel but before I got any further than the end of the main corridor my attention was suddenly drawn to the main entrance, where there was obviously something unusual happening as there was a sudden sizzle of electricity in the air, and the clicks and flashes of a hundred camera shots being taken was noticeable above the excitable noise. And then there emerged from the crowded entrance the cause of all this commotion, and my heart leapt as it beheld two creatures who glided into the bar room. I blinked furiously. Were they even real? Downing my gin and tonic in one so as to try and steady myself, I then heard the band start up in the adjacent room. The sultry tones of 'She's a Black Magic Woman' rang through the hotel air and I ventured back into the bar area. From my secluded spot I could observe the two new arrivals to my heart's content. She (I later learned that her name was Lilith) simply radiated mystery and allure in a truly magical costume. Sensually attired in a deep V-necked black dress that perfected the art of seduction in that it concealed even as it revealed and revealed even as it concealed, her quite astonishing beauty left me reeling, and my eyes were drawn to what looked like a necklace, but which was probably a magic pendant from another dimension, and which hung around her alabaster, work of art neck and enchanting décolletage as if it were actually conscious of the immense privilege it was being granted: an intriguing, glimmering Red Right Hand. She had bewitching hair which reached in parts up to the moon and the stars and which shone a lustrous white in glorious, timeless glamour. The gentleman with her, draped in black velvet and with dark, spiked hair that also seemed to be reaching for the stars, had all the qualities of a nineteenth century poet who it is often said had once written a famous story about a vampyre which I'd read many years ago: Lord Byron. As I watched them, trying desperately to pluck up the courage to go and talk to this unusual, captivating couple, I suddenly noticed the woman in the wig watching the lady called Lilith with total fascination in her eyes. Just as with me, it seemed, a spell had been cast over her and she was as intoxicated and indeed, as spellbound, as I was. I saw her walk over to talk to the couple and I couldn't help but notice that there was something eerie, but also sublime about their exchange. It was as if the lady in the long red wig was drinking in the energy that flowed in waves from Lilith, and I became increasingly aware, although this will seem very strange to the reader, that the atmosphere in the hotel had subtly changed. I looked again and saw that an envelope of lighted mist surrounded the three of them. Lilith had the ensnared vampyre woman caught in a trance and to my amazement, I became aware of a sensation suddenly flooding through me which suggested that she could actually read my very thoughts from the other side of the room. And then, all at once, the band broke into another song, and the singer suddenly howled the lines that open that all time Halloween classic, that perfect three minute song which explores and encapsulates infatuation and the dark delights of euphoric desire so succinctly: "I Put a Spell on You!" 

The woman in the long red vampyre wig was now so possessed that she was unable to control herself any longer and she grabbed Lilith's laced white gloved hand and whisked her up onto the dance floor. But this was actually a crucial lesson for me in matters of control as to the casual onlooker, it would have appeared that Lilith was doing the other woman's bidding, so let this be a lesson to you as well, dear reader, for as with so many things in life, first impressions can be deceiving, for it was crystal clear to me that she was actually acting upon an impulse that she could simply no longer resist, and it was an impulse that had been planted there by a mischievous Lilith. For when I had first arrived, this very woman had looked like an image of confidence, self-control and self-restraint. But now, following Lilith's arrival, and under her mesmeric spell and wicked witchcraft, she was quite obviously little more than a marionette puppet at the bidding of strings that Lilith was pushing and pulling to her own playful, intoxicating fancy. Dear reader, how little do I realise I now know following this strange yet wonderful night.

The two of them drew every gaze with them onto the dance floor. They whirled and whizzed as they shifted shapes and made a mockery of that thing we humans call time. There was a fire and magic in the air that made seconds seem like long, drawn out minutes, and long, drawn out minutes seem like seconds. They then finished their dance and a haze came over my mind and over the entire room as everything became slow-motion and they embraced one another. What happened in that smoky, dream-filled moment, dear reader? Well, you may well ask. For in that scintillating, haunted atmosphere it could have been one or more of many things. Did they share a crimson kiss? Did Lilith whisper secrets from another world? Did Lilith feel the gentle caress of her capture's yearning eyes and hands? Did she perhaps make promises that she would or could never keep? Did she cast an everlasting spell over her? All I can say is that we will never know. Perhaps none of these things, perhaps all of them. But one thing is certain: something completely otherworldly had overcome the room and whatever transpired at the time between them will remain forever unknown to all except for the two participants.

A curious calm seemed to settle over the hotel at this point and a sense of normality appeared to have been restored. Lilith and her spellbound captive were joined on the dance floor as the band started to play another wonderful Halloween classic, 'Sympathy For the Devil.' Seeing that the very image of Lord Byron was currently sitting by himself, sipping what appeared to be a quite splendid Espresso Martini whilst he scanned the room and drank in the atmosphere, I quickly downed another gin and strode over to him. But strangely, when I got to the place he had been sitting he was no longer there. I turned around and saw he was on the dance floor with Lilith. I shook my head at this strange happening and put it all down to the gins that I had drunk, rather quickly, since the evening had began. But I knew, deep down in my soul, that I simply couldn't let the evening end without talking to this unusual, captivating couple. And then, all at once, I realised I had to take the next opportunity as, distressingly, it looked as if they were making to leave. I quickly positioned myself in the hall so I could catch them before they got to the main door, and so I wouldn't look too conspicuous. But, just as they approached where I was standing, I clumsily dropped my drink and in that split-second, they passed by. I raced after them so as to be able to talk to them in the graveled car park outside and when they went out of the hotel door, they were only a couple of yards in front of me. I'd had a few gins, the atmosphere of the evening had got under my skin, I knew I had the courage to do it... it was now or never. And so, after a deep breath, I quickly stepped outside to hail them but, to my utter surprise, the hotel car park was completely empty. There wasn't a soul in sight. It was impossible. Where had they gone? Had they vanished into the air, as breath into the wind? And then, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. My mind was, once again, in a whirl. I heard a noise behind me and turned around to see that the the woman in the long red wig who had danced with Lilith had herself ventured outside behind me to get some fresh air. Her eyes were strangely lost but also ablaze, and it was clear that she was in a state of an intoxicated but exhausted enchantment, her previously self-assured soul as it were caught between this world and some other realm. 

"You seemed to enjoy your dance," I said to her. "Was that lady you were with a friend of yours?" 

"Oh, my beautiful witch?" she answered, dreamily. "Oh, no, I've never seen her before in my life until tonight. Her name is Lilith, you know, and she knows all... all the thoughts and experiences of the world. She has been a diver in the deepest seas, and trafficked for strange pearls with Eastern merchants. She knows all the secrets of the moon, the stars, the sea, the secrets of love... of life itself, and all this has been to her but as the sound of lyres and flutes."

 And ever since then, this new found friend and myself meet up every evening at the Cliff Lodge Hotel, hoping beyond hope to get another glimpse of the woman who stole our very hearts and souls that night. We reminisce and share memories and our wishes and desires. And when, finally, we manage to fall asleep, we see in our intoxicated night visions Lilith's generous snake-like dancing, her captivating gaze and mesmerising grace, which has allowed us to dream richer dreams than we could have before imagined, and our questing eyes are often drawn to the Red Right Hand charm that had hung around her divine neck, and we hear her voice ringing out to us, repeating, over and over again, from Beyond the Sea and for all eternity, that haunting refrain which we shall never be able to shake: "I Put a Spell on You, Because You're Mine... And it is Heartache, Because You're Mine!"

Epilogue

News of this strange and eerie evening and of the extraordinary couple who had visited the Cliff Lodge Hotel that night soon became the talk of the town, and the mystery increased mightily when it was revealed that despite the hotel owners, the publicists for this unique 'Spells 'n' Daggers' Halloween event, and the many bewitched guests who had taken, quite literally, hundreds if not thousands of photographs of the couple as they had arrived, all awoke next morning to discover that no images of the previous night remained on their devices. It was as if they'd all been erased by some kind of magic.

But, a few weeks later, my friend who worked at the hotel and who had invited me to the Halloween party and who was, by now, well aware of the fact that I'd been completely altered and spellbound by the mystery that was the lady known as Lilith, allowed me to have a few pictures that did somehow manage to survive that night. For although the CCTV had also been completely erased, the hotel manager had, a couple of months before Halloween, had to install a couple of secret, hidden cameras because of an insurance claim. These cameras were top secret and only my friend and the manager of the hotel had any knowledge of them. It transpired that these special cameras had managed to secure a few precious images of that enchanting evening, and I hereby share them with you, dear reader, in the hope that they, along with my words, can convey to you just an inkling of the haunting atmosphere, and the bewitching enigmatic beauty of Lilith, from that spine-tingling, life-changing evening, under a full moon at the Cliff Lodge Hotel, one glorious Halloween.

Dedicated to Lady Stardust:

 "There's no nicer witch than you!"

Sleep Well, Everyone. 

Bites & Kisses. 

xxx

Live a Love of Life: Reflections & Recollections of the James Album, 'Seven'.

Introduction

As someone who suffers from a chronic health condition, the Covid-19 outbreak is a nightmarish, terrifying situation, & as I am in the "extremely vulnerable" category & have been told to self-isolate by the Cystic Fibrosis team that treat me at the hospital I attend for the foreseeable future, I am going to try & write about the art, literature & music that I adore to try & help keep me on an even keel & try & prevent me from going insane with worry & anxiety. This new situation is very scary for all of us, but for those like me who are in the Extremely Vulnerable group, & for their their loved ones & carers, it is a very stressful & frightening time. With all that in mind, I thought I would begin by sharing some of my thoughts on an album that had a huge effect on me when it was released back in 1992. I'd discovered the band James about two years earlier when I first heard their glorious dance epic 'Come Home' on the radio. I then bought the album it resided on, Gold Mother, & a VHS tape of a live concert they performed at the G-Mex in Manchester which stole my heart & sealed my growing obsession. This new album, then, I anticipated with great excitement. I actually bought it on the day of its release at an Our Price store at London Waterloo station where I was passing through on my way to Portsmouth for an audition. I didn't have a CD walkman (only a tape walkman) so I couldn't listen to it immediately but instead gazed longingly at the artwork on the inner sleeve & read the song titles over & over whilst I was on the train, wondering what they would be like & how they'd sound when I finally got the chance to play them later that evening. Intriguing titles such as 'Live a Love of Life', & 'Next Lover' jumped out at me... my imagination was in a whirl.

And so, some 28 years later, here is my review/personal take on the songs that make up the glorious, but at the time, much maligned by the music press, James album, Seven.

James - Seven

"What is common to Jewish-Christian and Zen Buddhist thinking is the awareness that I must give up my "will" (in the sense of my desire to force, direct, strangle the world outside of me and within me) in order to be completely open, responsive, awake and alive"

- Erich Fromm, 'Psychoanalysis and Zen Buddhism'.

"This is an invitation to leave yourselves behind."

- Tim Booth, Live Introduction to 'Sound'

1. Born of Frustration

'Born of Frustration', the opening song on the album, is the song that really caused all the trouble between James & the indie music press at the time & particularly with the NME. Although previous to this song's release, the music press had been, in the main, pretty supportive of James, this now changed immeasurably. 'Born of Frustration' introduces us to what James were always destined to do & which is a huge part of their box of tricks: glorious, anthemic songs that work well in a large arena. But the real bone of contention was the "la la la" refrain, which immediately brought howling derision from the little indie fascist community who quickly labelled James another Simple Minds. I could go on for hours here, but I will try to be brief. Simple Minds had become, by the early 90s, a dirty word in alternative music. I've always had a soft spot for Simple Minds & their first five, Post-punk, European Disco style albums are New Wave masterpieces. But they then grew into a quite different creature, shedding their strangeness & embracing a big soundscape sound whilst filling stadiums across the globe. This, of course, was anathema to the blossoming indie scene of the time & hence the change in the music press's opinion of them from one of support to sneering contempt. And so, they now decided to lump James into the same bracket: once loved, now despised. But anyway, onto the song itself. I, you won't be surprised to hear, loved it, & although it lost its sheen a bit for me for a while due to it being overplayed, I think it's a majestic song & I often play it still now. Wide-screened with wonderful trumpet lines, singer & lyricist Tim Booth (Boothy from here on) at his most questioning & impassioned, it has some intriguing lyrics, firstly concerning the nature of mind & reality itself:

"You're all an illusion...
You're only in my head you don't exist.
Who am I fooling?
I don't need a shrink but an exorcist."

before the singer turns his attention away from his own state of mind to probe these deep questions...

"All this frustration, all this frustration,
Who put brown owl eyes on the butterfly's wings?
All this frustration, all this frustration,
Who gave the leopard spots & taught the birds to sing?"

leading us to the closing of the song with the thought that perhaps the whole idea of faith is also one of frustration & uncertainty itself:

"The world is spinning endlessly,
We're clinging to our old beliefs."

This is incredible stuff. And as much as I might step to the defence of Simple Minds on occasions, (and actually, who couldn't love a band that had written the majestic working class song 'Waterfront'?), 'Don't You Forget About Me' - the song that 'Born of Frustration' is usually directly compared with - doesn't come anywhere close to 'Born of Frustration' in terms of melody, searching vocal & lyrical content. But 'Don't You Forget About Me' does work very well as the soundtrack to the brat pack film The Breakfast Club, whereas 'Born of Frustration', with its deep philosophical pondering, most certainly wouldn't.


2. Ring The Bells

I had already heard 'Ring the Bells' before as a live version of the song was on the Live video that I had. It's a wonderful uplifting number, or, as Boothy introduces it to the audience, "it's very pretty, I think you'll like it." It also finds him using his falsetto to give the song wings during its soaring crescendo. Again, it has been a staple at James concerts since it was written &, for this reason, it also lost some of its sheen for me due to it being a tad overplayed. But it still generates waves of positivity, & is there any better way to respond to a bully or a person, or even a society that has hurt you than this:

"When you let me fall, I grew my own wings...
Now I'm as tall as these skies...
When you let me drown, I grew gills & fins...
Now I'm as deep as the sea...
When you let me die, my spirit's free...
There's nothing challenging me."

Beautiful, priceless words. And a perfect lesson in how not to remain a victim.


3. Sound

This was another song that I'd already heard as it was the lead single before the album's release & it was & remains a thing of wonder. Even my friend, Pete, who hates James, bought the 12" single because he thought it was so good. It is six-minutes plus in duration, is strange & epic, & is more a piece of art rock dance music than a conventional song with a verse/chorus/verse/chorus/mid8/chorus structure. At the time of it's release, I also bought a wonderful salmon pink James T.Shirt with the legend 'We Are Sound' written on the back (it has been sadly lost, somewhere along the way. My wife Lydia jokingly said to me when I told her, "Hmph! I wonder which of your past birds has got that T. Shirt, then!), which, as it was the baggy era, was absolutely enormous on me & whenever I wore it, my aforementioned friend, Pete, would announce, "Ah, I see you're wearing your James dress again!" It did go very well with my Adidas Gazelle, however!

'Sound' is really a scintillating call to be completely open to life. It is an invitation that is trying to encourage the listener to experience things deeply, to be open to new experiences & to not be hemmed in by the personality, which most people wear & use as a kind of defensive armour of the body & soul...

"Fall into a spin,
Shed another skin,

Strip away all your protection..."

It's as if Boothy is encouraging (and even imploring) the listener to open up to the song, the power of the music, to experience & in essence, to life itself. In Daoist terms, I guess it would be along similar lines to the idea of shedding the limitations of the Acquired Mind, trying to experience things without all the stuff that is loaded on to us from the moment we begin to learn what is seen as acceptable, right or moral, whether that be from parents, from teachers at school, from the media, the TV & every other platform which tries to inform us what to think...

"Come, dip on in...
Leave your bones, leave your skin...
Leave your past, leave your craft,
Leave your suffering heart."

The piece builds gradually up to a towering crescendo which has Boothy imploring the listener, with desperation in his voice & megaphone in hand:

"For God's sake, do something out of character!"

Before the music winds down to a close as if a storm has passed & you glance up to see the sunlight flickering through the clouds & reflecting on the leaves outside the window. For me, 'Sound' is a truly magnificent work of art. Tim Booth has prodded, encouraged & implored his close listeners to cast off their body armour ('Chain mail', for example) for his entire career, & this song for me is probably a James manifesto. So much of what they're about is encapsulated in this piece of music, especially when they perform it live. It is ecstatic, euphoric, & it is dance music whilst being so much more than just dance music at the same time. It is dreamy but thoroughly engaged with life & not drop out stoner music. It is also ahead of its time, a kind of proto Zooropa-era U2 as well, & I wish Brian Eno had produced a version as I would have loved to hear what he would have done with it but he wasn't to produce James until their next album, Laid. What is there left to say? A wonderful piece of music, especially when they play it in concert.


4. Bring a Gun

Again, this was a song that I'd already heard before as it was on the live at the G-Mex video, & it was actually this song, not 'Born of Frustration', that first made me think that, musically, James had a song that had similarities with Simple Minds, as the wah wah guitar sounded remarkably similar to the guitar part in the early Simple Minds song, 'Love Song'. I loved the message & feel of 'Bring a Gun', which was a howl of rage against beige, boring Thatcherism & dull, grey Britain in which only dullness was allowed:

"Get a license for that grin or they'll lock you away,
If you show that you're happy inside, you're going to get busted.
The only law we allow round here is one of organised grey..."

One antidote to all this, of course is, as the song says, to have a party. And, in normal circumstances, just as Madonna knows, who in their right mind would want to argue with that?


5. Mother

'Mother' is a powerful antiwar song, which has a slower, American blues feel that has the somewhat rather startling opening lines:

"This war's a mother-fucker,
How many sons will we kill today?"
I can't help but feel that most of the song is from a soldier's mother's point of view, as she addresses the leaders who send their sons & people off to war & often to their deaths. It is a powerful, haunting song that lingers long in the memory.


6. Don't Wait That Long

This was one of my favourites on first listen, & I still adore the dreamy feel that it has. Like 'Sound', it weighs in at close to seven minutes & this brings the brooding atmosphere out to the full. I would imagine that this lyric was written in part about Boothy's break up with the mother of his son, as some of the lines have a self-lacerating feel that mirror the famous, perhaps infamous, reflections of "After thirty years, I've become my fears, I've become the kind of man I've always hated" that James aficionados already knew from 'Come Home'. But, lyrically, what I remember 'Don't Wait That Long' for the most was the quite brilliant line that suggested that God/the creator was perhaps not a man, that Man God in the Sky that most of us were taught about in school or church, but, intriguingly, a woman, or certainly a She, a feminine force:

"God made me to Her own design,
Bad planning... too many flaws."

I immediately found this to be an extraordinary, beautiful idea. Even as an atheist, I found the notion that whatever creative force it is that is behind the fact that Something rather than Nothing exists, makes far more sense if that force is feminine. It opens up the mind to many layers of speculation, but as Nature is often referred to in feminine terms (Mother Nature being the most obvious), why shouldn't the force that created nature be feminine also? And it's hardly surprising that men have tried to take the credit themselves by creating a masculine Sky God father, is it? Boothy explores this idea further on the title track of this album, 'Seven', which is still to come, & also on the dreamy, magisterial album that was to be released a few years later, his album with Twin Peaks composer Angelo Badalamenti, Booth & The Bad Angel. As a young man who first heard this song & then thought about what Boothy was suggesting, it was beautiful, thoughtful & exhilarating stuff, as it still is. Decades before the current New-Ageism fad that has become a thing so full of cliches, banal nonsense & Bad Faith, Boothy was actually teaching all of us who took the time to listen to consider & behold the Divine Feminine in the universe.


7. Live a Love of Life

The title of this song, 'Live a Love of Life', is, along with 'Stay Beautiful' by the Manics, my joint-favourite song title of all time. It's a wonderful phrase & it was one of the titles that really jumped out & intrigued me the most as I gazed at the inner sleeve of the CD as I travelled on the train after I'd just bought the album. Yet the song itself is not at all how I expected it to be. I actually thought it would have a similar uplifting feel to the future James track 'Waltzing Along', that is, an upbeat take on the wonders that life can offer & how to navigate its troubles. But how mistaken I was. For to my ears, it doubles not only as an attack on abusive fathers in general, but also to the biggest father of all, the God of Christianity for allowing His Son to be crucified, whilst still finding room to wrestle with the identity of Jesus himself:

"I don't believe Jesus was a human being,
I've never met a prophet whose sheets are clean,
Only in a film could He be so cool,
But only in life can fathers be so cruel."

And that's not all. For as Boothy later sings, we are also all trapped in a system that hinders our best impulses:

"Open your eyes & what do you see,
The system made to crush our needs,
The Saviour nailed to every tree."

It's a chilling vision that Boothy conjures up here, & he goes on to accuse our governments, & organised religion for their values & for their hypocrisy, turning the title of the song, instead of a celebration of life, into a damning accusation:

"Where's you're love of life?
Show me your love of life!"
It's a strange, unnerving song with many ideas & notions to contemplate. And despite much of the accusatory nature of the lyric, the encouraging ideas still shine through like a beacon, imploring the listener to try & do exactly what the glorious title of the song says: 'Live a Love of Life'. I think it's a brilliant phrase. They should have had it emblazoned on a T. Shirt!


8. Next Lover

Aaahhh... what dreamy, romantic raptures this song sends my soul into. Along with 'Live a Love of Life', it was this title that had sent my imagination into overdrive when I first saw it on the inner sleeve. And what a glorious, Film Noir-kissed piece it turned out to be when I finally got to hear it. One of the things I so admire about Boothy's lyrics, & why they have always spoken to me on such a deep level, is that he has a foot in two camps that are normally opposed to one another. On one side there is the world of the spirit, or the unseen, where he explores ideas about God, Spirituality, Energy, & emotions, etc, but on the other, there are lyrics that are firmly grounded in our physical reality, in our biological bodies & our physical senses. These two subjects are quite often polarised as they seem to be in complete opposition to one another. But in Tim Booth's case, judging from his lyrics & interviews, this is not the case. He certainly doesn't seem to favour or privilege one over the other or debase one at the expense of the other & in this he has taught me so much over the decades, & I know from talking to my wife Lydia (who is an acupuncturist & is extraordinarily knowledgeable about Daoism & Ancient Chinese Thought) that many of his ideas directly touch on those of Daoism & Ancient Chinese philosophy. I also hear references to the psychologist Wilhelm Reich, & even that famous atheist Friedrich Nietzsche (particularly on the B.Side 'Long To See', which I can never listen to without thinking it's inspired by the chapter on the Hermit in Nietzsche's Thus Spake Zarathustra.... I would love to ask Boothy if this was so if I ever got the chance!) But in Boothy, as in myself & Lydia, none of these ideas seem to clash. They sit beside each other harmoniously & seem as natural as yin & yang. Of course there is an unknown world that we long to know of. Not one single person knows for sure what life is, how it started, what thoughts are, where we came from, or anything of that nature. Let me repeat: None of us know FOR SURE. Of course, we can speculate, we have mountains of information that we can explore: science, philosophies, religions, etc, & we must then make our choice based on that limited & probably incomplete information that is available to us. For me, weighing up the evidence of my own life experience & learning, I'm an atheist, but I wouldn't for one second say that I know that the atheist position is definitely true, because I can't say that, & because as I get older, the only thing I can say for sure is that I know hardly anything. ("The further you go, the less you know" as Boothy sings in 'Five-0'). I'm digressing slightly but what I wanted to say is that one of the reasons why I love Tim Booth's & James's work so much is that they explore ideas about spirituality whilst exploring the drives & needs & desires of the body with equal intensity. Boothy certainly hasn't become dead from the neck down just because he is vitally interested in matters of the spirit. And my goodness, his lyrics are as romantic, sensual & as celebratory of sexuality as any of the other singers that I love & revere so much: Brett Anderson, Marc Almond, Anna Calvi, Ren Harvieu, etc, though why he doesn't get the credit for this rather baffles me. Take for example his oceanic solo song 'Fall in Love with Me', which simply drowns in jouissance & the euphoria of blissful sensuality via the flowing tides, the moon... Anyway, I digress again... onto 'Next Lover'!

The first verse contains these sparkling lines:

"Who are you dreaming of now,
Is she flesh-real, or bloodless fantasy?"
It sets the scene perfectly for what is to follow. An exploration of sexual longing & desire, female beauty, the imagination versus reality, & how desire can influence our thoughts & behaviour on a grand scale. After first addressing the way that the motive of desire will directly affect our behaviour towards the desired person:

"We will laugh at the worst of your jokes,
Steal a kiss if we can,
Buy you flowers & gifts,
Every move is a plan."

we move away from the more outward signs of desire to a kind of exploration of the nature of desire itself & about who really has the power in this situation, the one who desires or the desired object:

"We are driven by things you can't feel,
Are we stealing or are we the steal?"

Before Boothy turns inwards to describe this earth-shattering emotion that he is experiencing:

"I'm so full of desire, I've forgotten your name,
I'm so full of desire, I could burst into flame,
I'm so full of desire... I can't hope to control,
This desire is closer to pain...
River runs where all rivers go...
This desire will not be contained!"

The yearning in Boothy's voice as he reaches this crescendo is a perfect reflection of the lyric, & after this the song falls breathlessly to a close with a gentle slowdown featuring more plaintive "la la la la las". For me, it is the "River runs where all rivers go, This desire will be contained," lines that have the most power, for it explores in beautiful poetry ideas that I've come across not only in college, but through Lydia's studies as well. Freud believed that desire was an energy & that this energy could not be removed, but either had to find an outlet (sublimation) or be repressed. And as John A Sandford says in his book Fate, Love & Ecstasy, "Have we not learned from psychology that to feel shame about sex & desire is to repress it and incur a neurosis as a consequence?" (Sandford, J.A. p. 12) I think this lyric touches on this fact, & it is remarkable how similar these two lines are to the Daoist teaching that "you cannot end desire, for that is impossible, you can only end that which is capable of desiring." In other words: "River runs where all rivers go..." I think this song is a wonderful exploration on the nature of desire & it is a song full of longing that I still listen to often, & it has intrigued me in many different ways over the years, depending on which period I've been in my life when I have listened to it.

9. Heavens

My, oh my. That last chapter was a bit long, wasn't it? Anyway, onto 'Heavens'. This is a wonderfully philosophical song, that has a real sense of shimmer running through it, & when I hear it, in my mind I feel like I'm on a bridge looking down at a stream flowing along in Spring, with sunlight reflecting & sparkling on the surface & on the glimmering fishes that are swimming just below. And is there a more concise summing up of the problem of the human condition in a pop/rock song than this:

"I've been looking through microscopes to see how all life begins,
I've been training my lens on the stars to see where it ends,
But it's this living in-between that is bringing me down
To a land that's lost in dreams."


10. Protect Me.

This song is a rather simple lullaby, a pause for breath between what we've heard already & what's to come on the soaring, last song of the album. It has a slight bluesy feel, but I have to admit that I probably prefer to listen to the live version, where Boothy's delicate vocal is accompanied only by a plaintive acoustic guitar.


11. Seven.

'Seven', the final song on the album, is a stunning closing number & is in many ways a summation of many of the themes that have already been explored. It's a total mystery of a song, from the lyrics right through to the title itself, 'Seven', which isn't actually sung at any point. What does the Seven of the title signify? Is it because there are seven members in the band? Is it a mystical reference? Seven is a mysterious word that has many implications & is full of religious symbolism. There are also the Seven Deadly Sins. And Seven is also the title of a different, but equally enigmatic song by Prince. I don't know if there's a definitive answer, but it is a powerful, haunting song full of meanderings, spine-tingling trumpet, ideas about letting go of trauma & becoming more free by doing this, & as always, it comes jam-packed with emotion & intriguing lyrics:

"God made love to me,
Soothed away my gravity.
Gave me a pair of angel's wings,
Clear vision & some magic things.
God is love to me,
Thank you for those things."

I think this says so much about Tim Booth's lyrics & outlook. The ultimate union, as he puts it, would be to make love with God. And what is God? Well, God, aside from the God of Christianity, means many things to many people. The Greeks had lots of different gods, & just as many goddesses as well. I think the clue here is that God means something different to each one of us. Boothy reveals that in this lyric, God is love. What a wonderful idea. And, of course, the key line: "Thank you for those things." How many people feel genuine gratitude for the wonderful things they have in their lives? Love, friendship, good health, no financial concerns, the blue skies, the sea, etc, instead of tearing themselves into pieces over things they CHOOSE to get upset about? I have my doubts. Maybe this terrible current crisis will make people stop & take a second to think about the incredible things they had but which they perhaps took for granted? Who knows. And the final lyrics of 'Seven', & the album of the same name also, are:

"Understand the world we're living in,
Love can change anything."

Indeed.


Conclusion

So, gentle reader, as I'm sure you will agree after reading my blog up to this point, what a journey it's been for me so far with Boothy & James during my life. Like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, we are living through a very serious time at the moment & because I have cystic fibrosis, it is very scary indeed. Lydia & me may well be self-isolated from other people for months. And it's not only this new virus that is so scary, there are my usual CF treatments, hospital visits & admissions to navigate & we are unsure as to how the CF team are going to be able to do this. We also have to make sure we don't run out of anything (food, essentials, medication, medical equipment, etc) or go out of our minds with worry & anxiety. I'm sure Boothy & James will help psychologically & emotionally during this period, as they've already helped us immensely over the years. For instance, the amount of times I've had them playing quietly in my hospital room during many unpleasant medical procedures is very many indeed.  But it's not only during scary times that they have inspired me, in fact that is far from the case. For over the many years, Boothy & James have encouraged me, soothed me, challenged me & educated me. Made me more open & accepting. Taught me how important it is to treasure every moment. And my wife, Lydia, who is arguably even more obsessed with James than I am, truly adores Tim Booth, & many are the stories we have that are centred around him. Out of many things I could choose, & one I've not really mentioned as yet, is Boothy's astonishing dancing. It is freedom personified. And my good lady has become something of a Queen of Five Rhythms dancing thanks to being inspired & introduced to it by him, travelling as far afield as Sheffield & Brighton to attend their classes. And for me personally, one of the things I love to do is create my own covers for our i-pod & i-tunes library. Here is one of my favourites:



And in our everyday lives, they are pretty much always a part of us, even when our picture gets snapped unknowingly by a friend when we are simply enjoying listening to a live band playing down at the local pub whilst sporting a James shirt!...



And then, there are the truly sublime, time stopping moments. Such as when we had just moved down south to start our new life & James played at our local hall with support from Echo & The Bunnymen. Usually, Lydia always stays with me in our seats but on this occasion we had a friend with us who could stay with me, which left Lydia free to go & stand downstairs & get as close to the stage as possible. We were already gliding on air with all the excitement of our new life, Lydia's new career doing something she adores & believes in deeply, when an extraordinary happening took place. For during 'How Was It For You?' Boothy made one of his regular trips out into the crowd via the shoulders of the audience. And before long, he reached Lydia. He held her hand & they gazed into each other's eyes & souls as he sang the unbelievably sexy, teasing lines "Do with me what you want, but don't tell a soul, Don't tell my soul!" right through to the repeated crescendo finish of "such a feeling... whoa!" that ends the song. It was truly extraordinary to witness & with the spotlight shining on them both, it was as if time stood still, the intensity of the energy between them enough to have lit up the entire concert hall. I'll put a link to a live version of 'How Was It For You?' at the end of this blog & I'm sure you will agree it is one of the sexiest songs ever written, complete with building excitement that reaches to, quite literally, an orgasmic crescendo. All I can say in conclusion is that my very fine lady, as you can no doubt appreciate, envious reader!, was an ecstatically happy girl that night!

Another, & probably the most memorable occasion with Boothy & ourselves was when we saw James at Wolverhampton Civic Hall in December 2016, on our wedding anniversary. We were in the first row of the circle & Boothy had been on many trips out into the audience during the main set. But just before the encore, Lydia said to me, "Okay, Bunny... using our intention, we're going to manifest him standing right here next to us singing. Let's see if we can make it happen." Then the house lights went down & the piano intro to '(Just Like) Fred Astaire' began & Boothy suddenly appeared one block away from us. I remember thinking, "Oh no!... If only our seats had been ten to fifteen to our left, that would have been us." And then he started walking along the front row towards us... he got closer... & closer... & closer. And then, all at once, whilst I struggled to hold myself together, he was standing right there in front of us, holding our hands in his, all of us gazing into each other's eyes as he sang the final verse & chorus of 'Fred Astaire'. Time literally stood still as the beauty & wonder of the moment enraptured us. It was captured by a fan beside us who sent us the video & everybody around us was crying with emotion. It really was an unforgettable moment & it summed up our relationship with Tim Booth & James in a crystal ball.

James have also played a huge part in helping to form or cement friendships. When we lived in north Wales, Lydia & me went to our local Wine Bar as there was an open mic night being held there. As I hoped to be able to sing a couple of songs, I asked the chap who was running it if he could accompany me on guitar but he shook his head & instead pointed me in the direction of the house keyboard player, a chap called Phil. As is usual, I thought I'd start by asking him if he knew any songs by the most played & well known artists on the scene: "Hi Phil, I'd like to sing a couple of songs tonight, can you play anything by the Smiths or REM?" The affable keyboard player replied, "Hmmm... not really." I then asked him, "Anything by James, perhaps?" The keyboard player's eyes lit up: "Mmm, let's see... Only everything they've ever done!" And so was to begin a deep friendship that has lasted over fifteen years & which led to us playing most of the James back catalogue at various open mics over a period of around 8/9 years. We are still great friends now & are actually hoping to somehow be able to play some songs online via Skype or something of that ilk, but who knows if this will be possible. Either way, without James, one of my best friends may have remained unknown to me. And then there's our friend down south, Aaron, who has been a godsend during this current crisis, getting us fresh fruit & veg, my mountains of medication from the chemist, as well as some extra goodies as an extra, much loved surprise. He is also a great admirer of Boothy & let me just say that he & my good lady have almost traded blows when we've seen James together in concert as they have endeavoured to get their hungry paws on the man himself. And, it has to be said, it's not hard to see why, is it?

This Pic, I think!, was shamelessly lifted from Tim Booth's Official Twitter Account (Hope you don't mind, Boothy! I'm sure he won't... I mean, if this was me I'd have it plastered everywhere!):
https://twitter.com/RealTimBooth?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor


And so, what now? Well, in a different way, during a time of great worry & fear, Boothy & James are always here for us. Hopefully they will soothe us, help us try to make sense of what's happening & in classic James style, help us to make the most of life even at this terrifying time. And wherever possible, & despite our current fears, to make the most of every day.

And on a more general level, in summation, Tim Booth, James, the album that I've discussed here & all of their other work, seem to me to suggest that openness to experience, gratitude for the good things we have in life, the courage to follow change & opportunity, love & romance are what makes us who we are & are what we need to hold on to to make our lives the richest experience they can possibly be. And questing. Or questioning. Encouraging us to never stop searching, to try to understand the world we're living in, never stop learning, & to let ourselves cry at the sadness of the world when necessary, & laugh at the wonder of it all whenever we can.

And perhaps, like Boothy sings, Love can change anything. It's a beautiful thought.

Live a Love of Life. x


Art by Nikki Smith



- Tim Booth Love Life album artwork by Lee Baker

- Lydia in Glastonbury, 2017


James - 'How Was It For You?' (Live at the G-Mex, Manchester. Dec 1990):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PryPwous3u0

"Everyone Does it in Paris!": Madame Bovary Review

Carole Lombard as Emma,

By PAULINA OTYLIE SURYS

Warning: There are spoilers from the beginning of this review.

WHAT AN astonishing novel Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert is. I finished it recently & it still haunts me like a dream. Published in 1857, in essence, it tells the story of Emma, the daughter of a farmer who attends school at a nunnery, becomes a dreamer due to her reading of religious texts & trashy romantic novels, marries a doctor she meets called Charles, discovers that she loathes him & finds marriage to him boring & stifling, has two passionate affairs that both end badly, gets herself into a mountain of debt, & hounded by unscrupulous money-lenders & the twittering classes, finally kills herself. But although Emma is often a furious character to witness, I found it pretty much impossible to not find her intriguing, complex, and, in the main, a character full of vital energy who because of her situation (being a woman in 19th century France), simply had no suitable outlet for the ambitions, drives & flames that raged within her heart. On the surface, it would be easy to diagnose Emma as suffering from that curiously modern phenomena, Chronic Dissatisfaction, but I believe this would be far too simple an explanation. For really she is a woman of vigour, intelligence, & she also has a restless, hungry spirit. She also possesses a rare beauty, which enchants those that she meets. But all around her, she finds her dreams & desires limited, not only because of her social/financial status, but also because she is a woman. When she meets Charles, she hopes that marriage will bring her true happiness, but she soon realises that this will not be the case. For Charles is a crashing bore. Flaubert describes him as completely commonplace. Someone who has never uttered anything individual or outside of popular thought in his entire life. He is a bad doctor, & when he bungles an operation on a boy who has a club foot in the village, which then requires amputation, Emma's hatred for him knows no bounds. She gives birth to a daughter but is indifferent toward her, leaving her in the main to the nanny. Her dreams of him becoming a famous, respected doctor lie in tatters. They attend a ball - the first she'd ever been to - and she is dazzled by the glamour & the beauty & the magic of it all. A dashing Vicomte dances suggestively with her, opening her mind to a host of other possibilities. Dreams of romance & intrigue flood her mind. She then meets Rodolphe, a rich womaniser with whom she begins a passionate love affair. But at the height of their affair, on the eve of their long planned secret departure to Italy to live together, he abandons her. She has a complete breakdown & although she recovers, she starts to dislike Charles even more. She despises him for being naive, as if the fact that he does not even notice that she had been in love with another man & had an affair with him makes him even more ridiculous & pathetic. But denial is strong in this novel. For example, on her recovery, she is plagued by guilt, so she suddenly becomes hugely charitable to the poor & less fortunate, to the point that the local gossips wax lyrical about her. But in reality it's all a mere show. Deep down she hates herself, her husband, the local people she knows, & feels like a bird trapped in a cage. She then meets a former friend & almost lover, Leon, at the theatre. He starts to court her again, & although she desires him fiercely, she is still wracked with guilt at her previous affair with Rodolphe. Leon tries to convince her. Under his amorous caresses he urges her to give in to their mutual desire. "I don't know if I ought to... it's highly improper, you know." she tells him. "In what way?" he replies. "Everyone does it in Paris!" This remark settles the matter. Because Paris, for Emma, is the beacon of civilisation, so unlike the provincial backwater she is forced to live in, with their dated, ridiculous views & narrow-minded morality. And if the Parisians do it, then that is the done thing & that's what she'll do too, she reasons. And so begins her dazzling affair with Leon. They have a blissful time at first. Meeting weekly at a snazzy hotel in Rouen, she lends money at an alarming rate so as to purchase all the things she has ever dreamed of. Silk scarves, beautiful clothes, lingerie, gifts for Leon, she feels alive again. But soon, things start to get stale. She worries he is losing interest in her. They have a few close shaves where gossiping neighbours almost catch them in the act. She gets angry with him when he neglects her one day. He realises he can't pay the price for the nice hotel any longer & suggests they get a room in a cheaper establishment instead. She is horrified at this suggestion & says she will pay half so they can stay at the same hotel. The debt increases. Finally, the debt collector hounds her & threatens to tell her husband. In desperation she approaches Rodolphe, the wealthy man who had abandoned her on the day they were supposed to run away together. He refuses. In absolute desperation & with all roads seemingly closed to her, she consumes arsenic & dies a few days later.

Her husband, Charles, who she came to loathe, is devastated, & finally learns that she had been intimate with Rodolphe in the past when he finds a love letter she had written to him. At first, he is in denial, but eventually accepts the truth, A few weeks later he bumps into Rodolphe in the street. Rodolphe suggests they should have a drink together. The scene that followed was one of the most moving in the novel. Rodolphe is everything that Charles isn't. Rakishly handsome, stylish, witty & suave. He is almost a dandy, although he isn't artistic enough to be a proper dandy. But he is elegant & confident. And although Charles feels like he ought to kill this man, what actually happens is heartbreaking. Flaubert writes that "Charles drifted off into a daydream as he gazed at this face that his wife had loved. He felt like he was seeing some part of her again. He was filled with wonder. And with a great sigh of the soul he realised that he would have liked to be that man." (p.310) Following this heartbreaking revelation, he tells Rodolphe that he bears him no malice for what happened between him & his wife. And Flaubert tells us how for the first time in his life, Charles uttered a memorable phrase: "Fate is to blame."

Flaubert's novel had me rapt throughout. And as well as Emma's story as I have tried to condense it above, it deals with so many subjects. Flaubert hated the petty middle class & saw through their vile hypocrisy as though he had an x-ray machine through which he could see their inner souls. Most of the other major characters are repulsive. Under the respectable masks that they show to the world, they are utterly selfish, conniving, crude, two-faced, heartless, resentful, money-grabbing individuals. They are a sordid collection of commonplace utterances & cliches made flesh. And it is against this sea of petty reality that Emma becomes a hero for everywoman & everyman who dares to imagine that they want more than this from life. For what she really represents is the battle of the imagination against the limitations of reality. For all her faults, her mind can imagine a better future, it is an active force trying to build a reality she can be happy with. But she wants so much more than society is willing to give her. Although she is increasingly annoying in her quest for material things, her creaturely self-assertion is supremely admirable. She is an unashamed sensual being, a sexual being, a force of nature who is only too aware of of her own mortality up against the limitations of a petty, hypocritical middle class society with their suffocating morals & rules. She is clever, quick-witted & beautiful, struggling against the mundane world whilst attempting to live up to the motto: Be all you can. The philosopher Jules De Gaultier sums up his thoughts on the novel with these glorious words:

"Indeed, when we lay down Madame Bovary, or any great novel & face the business of life, we are left with the usual question: How can one succeed in living an imaginative, creative life? Many of us do not conform to the conventional, bank-account idea of success. We instead look to the exceptions for examples, the creative artists, & many of them seem to be disturbed people who are actually rebelling against THE COLLECTIVE ILLUSION OF REALITY, against the conventional beliefs that safeguard the herd." 

Emma Bovary is such a one. And likewise the author Gustave Flaubert, who although he created a heroine with many irritable flaws, through her, encourages any one who is held back by society or hypocritical morality to use whatever means they have to try & get the things they dream of, & who felt such great affection for his human, all too human heroine that one of his best known remarks was, "Madame Bovary, c'est moi!" 

'Be What You Can.'

Elizabeth Taylor in Butterfield 8 (1960)

Works Cited:

Flaubert, Gustave. Madame Bovary: Provincial Manners. Tr by Margaret Maulden. Oxford World's Classics (2004 [1857])

Gaultier, Jules De. Bovary & Bovarysme