The Covid-19 pandemic has wreaked heartbreak and havoc across the globe, and although many people have suffered because of it far worse than I, the impact of it on my life has been enormous. As somebody who is clinically extremely vulnerable, I have been shielding now for almost eighteen months, and because of the risk of higher transmissibility with the latest delta variant, the CF specialists have advised me to continue to be extremely cautious with what I do, which means it will probably be some time yet until I can go to a concert or the theatre, or even meet with friends for a coffee, even though I have been double-jabbed. But despite this, and I am not ashamed to admit that at times my heart cries out to be able to do these things again, there have been silver linings. And one of the best I could have hoped for was being able to attend an online course at City Lit studying my favourite writer, Oscar Wilde. There was an added bonus as well, as the teacher was Julian Birkett, who I already knew from a European Short Story course that I had attended previously. To be able to read passages to the group, hear them read other passages, too, and then engage in conversation about Oscar's life, works, and beliefs was truly wonderful. Some of the responses to his works surprised me greatly (hearing one of your great heroes being criticised is never nice!), but it was fascinating to hear other people's opinions, and in many ways this helped me to crystallise my own thoughts about Oscar's philosophies on what makes life worth living. There were many sides to Oscar's views (his was far too big a personality to remain static in his thinking), and charting the changes of his views during his life was a fascinating process. I will attempt here to set down some of his most important thoughts and discuss what they might mean to us today, with extra regard and references to how they influence the way I approach life as well. So, without further ado, put some Debussy on the stereo or whatever device it is that you use to listen to music nowadays, prepare yourself a glass of absinthe, and come with me as we meander off the straight and narrow path and take a Walk on the Wilde side.
"The aim of life is self-development. To realise one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays."
- The Picture of Dorian Gray
- The Picture of Dorian Gray
1. In the Beginning
I can recall the moment I truly delved into the work of Oscar Wilde as if it were yesterday. It was back in the 90s and I had just finished a four month run performing in a play in London. I had travelled back on the train to Wales and although I was absolutely worn out, I was unable to sleep. In one of those moments where it seems like we decide what we are doing but perhaps there are influences beyond our control, my eyes rested on my bookshelf and my attention was drawn to the big blue hardcover edition that I had called The Works of Oscar Wilde. I opened it at random and fell upon the section entitled De Profundis, which is a letter that Oscar wrote whilst he was in prison to his lover, Alfred "Bosie" Douglas. I started to read and was so gripped that I read the entire one hundred plus page letter. By the time I had finished it was dawn outside and I finally managed to get to sleep with my head in a whirl. De Profundis still remains one of my favourite pieces of writing and from that moment I was a fully signed up member of the Oscar Wilde Fan Club. (I should have started one called The Green Carnation!) For it seemed to me that Oscar's life and philosophy were a revelation, and his work seemed to tempt and warn at the same time. Tempting because of his daring approach to how life could be lived, but also with the terrible warning of how easy, but disastrous, living an inauthentic life could be. I have this passage tattooed on my soul as a mantra:
"The supreme vice is shallowness. Whatever is realised is right."
How deeply this phrase penetrated my psyche and how badly did I need it, although I doubt very much that I was able to live up to its majestic wisdom at that point. But it had landed in my mind like a seed, and slowly but surely, over time, it began to bloom and I hope it is a phrase that I am now able to live up to and actually put into practice. I then explored more of Oscar's work and each find was a treasure trove of ideas, wit and wisdom. His fairytales brought tears to my eyes and stars to my heart. His essays on Socialism and Individualism echoed back to me my own political beliefs, but put so perfectly and in a way that I could never have done myself. His plays had me laughing down the aisles, and his style had me wearing a flower in my buttonhole before I could say "Wild Orchid." He has some intriguing and challenging views on an array of subjects, and it will be my pleasure to go through some of them now.
1. Influence
"It wouldn't have happened without you.
You filled me with a wild desire to know
everything about life."
- Dorian to Harry in The Picture of Dorian Gray.
- Dorian to Harry in The Picture of Dorian Gray.
In Oscar's novel The Picture of Dorian Gray, the whole notion of how people influence and are influenced by others is explored in great detail. In the novel, Dorian is an extraordinarily beautiful young man who is being painted by the artist Basil Hallward. Basil's friend Harry arrives at the studio and begins to enchant and confuse Dorian with his views. He tells Dorian how he has two of the most valuable things in life (beauty and youth), but how time is envious of these gifts and as his life proceeds he will lose them, grow old and eventually die. Harry tells him how, "The pulse of joy that beats in us at twenty, becomes sluggish, our limbs fail, our senses rot. We degenerate into hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the passions of which we were too much afraid, and the exquisite temptations that we had not the courage to yield to." Dorian is so startled and horrified by the realisation of what Harry is saying that he sells his soul so that the portrait will grow old whilst he will stay young and beautiful forever. This has catastrophic affects during the novel as Dorian, now remaining young and beautiful, grows more callous and paranoid over time and eventually ends up murdering Basil. It appears at first glance as though Dorian's descent into this terrible deal with the devil is all because of Harry's influence, but Oscar explores how each character in turn has been responsible, and none of them are blameless, if there is such a thing in these matters. For instance, Dorian's good looks have completely bowled over the artist Basil, who has himself been irretrievably changed since meeting Dorian:
"He is all my art to me now... his personality has suggested to me an entirely new manner in art, an entirely new mode of style . I see things differently, I think of them differently. I can now recreate life in a way that was hidden from me before."
And it is not only Harry that has influenced Dorian, for as Dorian tells Basil, despite his good intentions it was Basil himself who was initially responsible for instilling vanity into his psyche, long before Harry came on to the scene. For all Basil's protestations about Harry and his intention to do the right thing by Dorian, this tangled tapestry seems to suggest that it is an inevitable part of human life that we influence and are influenced by others whether we intend to do it or not. And when we are influenced by others, is it really them that are influencing us? for as Dorian reflects after he has met Harry... "He was dimly conscious that entirely fresh influences were at work within him. Yet they seemed to have come really from within himself." Such is the mystery of life, darlings! Most of us I'm sure can reflect on the role of influence in our own lives. And as Oscar writes elsewhere:
"Even men and women of the noblest moral character are EXTREMELY SUSCEPTIBLE to the influence of the physical charms of others. Modern no less than ancient history supplies us with many painful examples of what I refer to!"
- The Importance of Being Earnest
Ahem... Indeed!
2. The Visible/Invisible World
"The harmony of soul and body - how much that is! We in our madness have separated the two, and have invented a realism that is vulgar, an ideality that is void."
- Basil in Dorian Gray
"It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible."
- Harry in Dorian Gray
"There is not a single deterioration of the body which I must not try and make into a spiritualising of the soul."
- Oscar in De Profundis
- Oscar in De Profundis
"Flowers are a symbol of the beauty that in all lives lies dormant and may be brought to life."
- De Profundis
- De Profundis
As the above quotes show, Oscar gave voice to very different views when it came to the visible and invisible world. As an aesthete and an artist, he was, (like me)!, in thrall to the beauty of art, the natural world and the senses. During one class at my course, he was described as being "probably an atheist, but a person who loved mysticism, too" and in many ways that's how I also see him. In his earlier years he leant more heavily towards the view taken by Harry in the quote above, but as well as this no doubt being a product of the energy of youth that flowed within him, it was probably also because this philosophy was the most scandalous and rebellious at the time (and probably still is now) as it goes against so many commonplace sayings that we have inherited through religious morality, etc. And of course, what Oscar really disliked and had his sights trained on was hypocrisy:
"The supreme vice is shallowness.
Whatever is realised is right."
And in Victorian society (as it remains in our own), hypocrisy was rife. I believe that Oscar, for all his faults, had a kind and generous heart, and what he really believed was that both the invisible and invisible worlds were actually intrinsically linked, and shouldn't be separated, as one was a reflection of the other. As he writes in De Profundis: "What the artist is always looking for is the mode of existence in which soul and body are one and indivisible; in which the outward is expressive of the inward: in which form reveals." This is the essence of Oscar's belief, in my opinion. He adored the physical world because for him it represented the Platonic ideal of Beauty, and humans are the material representations of these ideals. And it is not only Beauty. Joy is also an ideal that is represented. And this is, for Oscar, a spiritual quest also. The aesthetes love beautiful art and are enchanted by beautiful objects because they represent THE ESSENCE of something beautiful. I would surmise that their suggestion is that if you worship Beauty, the more refined you will become and this in itself is a spiritual quest. It is nigh on impossible to do full justice to this argument here as there are so many twists and turns, but it is certainly not the hedonistic, thoughtless idealising of Beauty that is mainstream now. It has nothing to do with vacuous celebrity magazines and butchering yourself through plastic surgery, but has everything to do with the ancient pagan idea of glamour, mystery and sensual freedom. And Oscar, in effect, was attempting to do here what he was to do with many other things that at first glance appear to be total opposites, and that is to bring them together. He also knew that Life is not as simple as people like to believe, and that any mode of life that is too one-sided can lead to problems. Perhaps he never summed this up in a more succinct way than when he wrote: "Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul."
Keith & David in Six Feet Under
- Auguste Rodin,
- Gustave Klimt,
Ah! This is where Oscar really makes my heart sing. For the idea of Romance in great art and literature, and indeed, life itself, is not simply about Romantic comedies, champagne and vegan chocolate cake. (although they all are, of course, simply wonderful!) But much more than that, it is also a belief in an approach to life that leaves you incredibly vulnerable, but which also opens the heart and soul to the wonder and beauty of existence, and human relations in a spectacular, Revelatory way. For being a Romantic is a way of being in the world, and it is not about just having one date a year for an anniversary or on Valentine's Day, for example, but a complete way of seeing the world, and of feeling about everything that exists. It makes one more sensitive to nature, to music, to the arts in general, and helps you to see people in a more subtle way, "in their real, as in their ideal relations." As I've allowed the ideas of Romance to take on deeper meaning in my innermost self, it has encouraged me to enrich my perception of people and the world immensely. For instance, I wonder if many people think of their partners in the way I think of my wife, Lydia. For each time I look at her, I am intensely aware of how she has extraordinary elan vital (life force) and has elements of Greek myth in her innermost being, in brilliant abundance, and yet, they are so naturally a part of her very essence that I don't think she herself is that aware of them. To her it's as natural as the colour of her eyes. But I witness her multiple selves every day. For instance, as well as her day-to-day self, the kind of self we all have, in Spring she is the effervescent goddess of Spring, Primavera; in Summer she's a Mermaid of the Sea, and in Autumn she is the mesmerising witch, Lilith of Halloween. In her career and learning she always makes me recall the goddess of health and rejuvenation, Hygeia, and when she's feeling particularly cheeky, she's as playful and full of mischief as Euphrosyne or Iambe, among a myriad of others. And if it wasn't for the ideas of Romance and Romanticism, I doubt very much whether I would have ever learned to be able to view her and life in such a rich and poetic way. And let's face it, men are not exactly encouraged to think in this way, are they? It's not the kind of thing you learn in school or from mainstream media, is it? It's more about fuel guzzling cars, muscular strength, business, conquest, sporting prowess and porn, isn't it? But that view of things is based firmly in Reality and to me it is incredibly vulgar. Romanticism as a philosophy wants to do far more than that. It denies nothing about the probable facts of life, in that there is no creator, no Heaven where we go when we die and meet up again with loved ones we've lost, faces up to the terrible knowledge that we and everyone and everything we love will eventually pass away, and acknowledges that much of life is down to sheer chance. But it sees all of this, refuses to deny these harsh realities, yet still encourages us to embrace Life in all its sheer mystery, uncertainty, euphoria and pain, and then makes it its mission to encourage us to drain every last drop of joy and Beauty from the life that we are given. It's as if it wants us to see deeper than the surface, and to plunge into the unconscious of not only ourselves but the universe itself. To try and figure out why something rather than nothing exists. To see the forces and drives behind everything that lives, and how the myths of gods and goddesses tell us fundamental truths about ourselves and existence. It also understands that many of our natural drives are animal instincts, and that the only way to make them noble and spiritual is to make them as artistic as possible. As Oscar writes in Dorian Gray, "Romance exists through repetition, and repetition converts an appetite into an art. We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible." For many of us, it is the best response to life we have. And it is certainly better than Denial, the scourge of our time, whether that be about Global Heating and the Climate Emergency, Covid deniers, or the anti-vaccine brigade, who so desperately want Covid not to exist - so they can go about living the way they were able to do previously - that they will even go as far as denying its existence, or decide that it's "only flu" or a global conspiracy. But as Oscar also knows, Denial is in fact a terrible personal trap. And when it comes to Love, Romance and Desire, it is not only Psychoanalytic thought but also the likes of poet William Blake who would agree with Oscar, no doubt prefiguring Freud when he writes how, "We are punished for our refusals. Every impulse that we strive to strangle broods in the mind and eventually poisons us... The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself."
With Oscar's help, I dearly hope I've learned to see the world for the genuine mystery and miracle it is. And I'm so glad that if anybody were to accuse me of being "too romantic", I would take it as a sincere compliment and it would make me think that perhaps I've gone about things in the right way. We have a quite enchanting array of bird visitors to our little garden (including a lame wood pigeon with a clubbed right food that Lydia christened Byron and who is an absolute inspiration to us), and a quarrel of sparrows, who, when they sing in unison (the Sparrow Chorus, as we call it) are simply breathtaking. These pleasures are so simple and remote and alien to the neoliberal capitalist view of the world as to be almost their polar opposite. If Margaret Thatcher had ever experienced it, I would guess that her only response would have been to see if money could be made from it (probably by caging the beautiful sparrows, and Byron would probably have been denied disability benefits and left to rot). How glad I am that I don't see, hear and experience the world in such a desperately limiting, anti-life way. And then there is my wife, Lydia. We've been together for over twenty years, been in shielding together for eighteen months, and yet she still makes my heart skip a beat every single day and we can still talk for hours on end about every topic under the sun and laugh together till the tears run down our faces. I couldn't have hoped for anything more.
- Lydia & Yours Truly!
I doubt very much that empathy is a word that many people associate with Oscar Wilde if they think about his work and ideas. And yet it is a huge part of Oscar's philosophy of life, whether that be in a fairytale such as The Happy Prince or the extraordinary letter that he wrote in prison, De Profundis. For all his wit and adoration of scandal, Oscar was deeply aware of the vicissitudes of life and I would suggest that at the deepest level, he was fully aware of our interconnectedness and the importance of understanding and compassion in the way we live our lives. Of course, he failed many times, for he, like each one of us, is human, and he hurt many people because of his amour fou (mad love) for Bosie, none more so than himself. When he was released from prison, he campaigned tirelessly for prison reform, informing the world of the sadistic cruelties being inflicted on already broken prisoners, and even children caught in the prison system. And on a personal level, he even wanted to console Bosie, even though it was Oscar himself who was languishing and suffering dreadfully in jail. I think he knew only too well that fortune has all of us in its grip, and when misfortune arrives, the only way we can retain our humanity is to feel empathy and try and relieve another person's misfortune and suffering when it inevitably falls on them. Not something that sits well with neoliberal individualism, though, of course, hence Boris Johnson saying, "let the bodies pile high" so that business can carry on as normal during a devastating global pandemic. It is also worth noting that Oscar was also more than aware that life works in mysterious ways. For it wasn't only his selfish and thoughtless behaviour that led to his life falling apart disastrously, but his supreme kindness also. For after finally managing to separate from Bosie after another of their ferocious scenes, a few days later Oscar read in the paper that Bosie's brother had died in a tragic shooting accident. Out of compassion for Bosie and his family's suffering, he helped in whatever way he could and he and Bosie were soon after reconciled, and it wasn't long after this that Bosie's father started the campaign of hate against Oscar which led to him being imprisoned. Reflecting on this whilst in prison, Oscar wrote in De Profundis: "The gods are strange. It is not of our vices only that they make instruments to scourge us. They bring us to ruin through what is good, gentle, humane, loving. But for my pity and affection for you and your family, I would not be weeping now in this terrible place." What a conundrum this life we live is. But Oscar knew only too well that empathy is a vital ingredient if we intend to live our best lives, as without it, we are likely to turn into monstrous, insensitive capitalist machines who would prefer that "the bodies pile high" rather than try and do everything to prevent that from happening. And of course, nothing has changed since Oscar's day in that how we live (and, indeed, whether we will still have a planet to live on) as a society depends entirely on us not only focusing on ourselves, but on thinking of the larger world and changing our behaviour for the greater good, despite what the far Right, anti-vaccine, non mask and Climate Emergency deniers say.
When we studied De Profundis in class, I think I surprised a few people by telling them that De Profundis is a text that I often turn to when I'm feeling sad and low, and the amount of times it has helped to get me through scary, sometimes terrifying hospital admissions are so many that I've lost count. It is a sombre piece of art, but above all, for me, it always helps me not only as a balm, but for its sense of hope. I think I've described it sometimes as my Bible as it is so full of wisdom, love, compassion and grace. Oscar describes how he suffered so terribly in prison that he longed to die. But slowly and surely, he looked deep inside himself and found that he could emerge and love life as much as he had ever done, only in a different way. Our reasons for feeling distraught are obviously very different. But when I've been in hospital or at home, coughing up blood and desperately hoping that the IV antibiotics will stop it happening, whilst all the time hoping also that my CF hasn't turned a corner and that I might not have long left on this beautiful planet, as an atheist, I have found no other text that can help at that time more than De Profundis. There is such wisdom contained in its pages. About life, love, loss, beauty, death... it touches on every important subject. And it has helped me (and still does) remember that every moment is precious and that we should live life to the full whilst not giving in to the hypocritical moralising voices around us, have the courage to not deny the realities of existence, and learn to accept that eventually, everything, everywhere, ends. And in these insane times, as I enter my 547th day of shielding and we face a world with Covid, Covid deniers, Climate Emergency and heaven knows what else, Oscar's words seem more prescient than ever. But how else has Oscar inspired me and our modern culture?
Anyone who has read my previous blog posts will know that I adore the glam element in music. And for me, Oscar was the first glam pop star. Without him, I doubt if Bowie, The London Suede, Roxy Music, Manic Street Preachers, St. Vincent and a whole array of artists would have been the way they are. For in their work (and personal lifestyles) they have brought together two ideas that are usually thought to be in opposition and proved it is actually possible to have both: style AND substance. Oscar Wilde has been a huge influence on this philosophy, and his life and work showed that it was perfectly capable to have depth and meaning, and great style, and that they didn't have to be exclusive. He was also a dynamic rebel, who loathed the hypocrisy of the religious and the Puritan moralists. Whenever I've talked to other people who also consider Oscar to be a hero, they all talk about how he encourages us to be authentic, as well. And how badly does our current culture need people to walk it as they talk it? If everyone who quoted Buddhism and such then behaved in the way they talked, how much better the world would be. But people in the main just want to LOOK as if they are fine, compassionate, unselfish individuals. In reality, they usually don't care about anything other than themselves. And this is what Oscar despises: "Live Your Truth," would be his message, and if you behave selfishly, don't then go and pretend on Facebook and Social Media that you're a Patron Saint of Compassion and Empathy.
Politically also, Oscar has made a huge impact. He is an LGBTQ hero (and martyr) to many, and his revolutionary ideas about Socialism would still have many a Tory hurling their copy of Oscar's The Soul of Man Under Socialism essay at their servant's wall in an apoplectic rage. For as Oscar writes, "The proper aim is to try and reconstruct society on such a basis that poverty will be impossible... Under Socialism, there will be no living in fetid dens and bringing up unhealthy children in the midst of impossible and absolutely repulsive surroundings. Each member of the society will share in the general prosperity and happiness of the society."
And finally, wherever possible, he urges us to love life in all its strange wonder and baffling mystery. As Peter Shaffer writes in his play Equus, in a line that could quite easily have been written by Oscar himself: "Worship... Worship all that you can see. And then more will appear." This is the essence of Oscar's philosophy in my opinion. And because of life's strange vicissitudes, we should tread carefully whilst fully embracing the joys that we are given as a gift to be treasured. And a final thought to leave with you with, for now, dear reader, before we meet again. Would you like to know something extraordinarily uncanny, something that sent a shiver racing up and down my spine when I discovered it? It was quite clear to both Lydia and myself when we met that there was an intense connection between the two of us, and it was almost as if we intuitively knew that we were destined to have a very important role in each other's lives. Imagine then, if you can, the thrill that seemed (and still seems to me) to suggest that otherworldly influences were aligning with the stars to bring us together when I realised that my literary hero, Oscar Wilde, actually shares a birthday with my very fine lady herself! It stunned me then, and it stuns me still now. Who knows if these kinds of coincidences have any meaning, but I personally take it as a very, very sure sign, that somewhere in the Great Beyond, the moon was organising the tides and the spheres in a particular direction, and that it was clearly written in the stars that Lydia and me would meet and have the relationship that we do. It certainly makes perfect sense to me. And although I can't for one second believe myself to be An Ideal Husband, I am certainly more than aware of the sacred bond between us and I try to be the best life-partner than I can possibly be, and I try to help Lydia fulfil her dreams and hopes as best as I can, just as she always does for me. And if I'd been given the choice of who I would spend almost twenty months shielding with during a global pandemic before it started, and with perhaps many more months to come yet, she is the one I would have chosen in a heartbeat.
Indeed.
3. Love & Romance
David Bowie & his wife, Iman
The Eternal Idol (1890-93)
The Kiss (1907-08)
"A few minutes with somebody one worships means a great deal." - Basil in Dorian Gray
"The joy of love, like the joy of the intellect,
is to feel itself alive."
- De Profundis
"Love is fed by the imagination, by which we become wiser thank we know, better than we feel, nobler than we are: by which we can see life as a whole: by which, and by which alone, we can understand others in their real as in their ideal relations. Only what is fine, and finely conceived, can feed love. But anything
will feed hate."
- De Profundis
"How utterly unromantic of you!"
- The Importance of Being Earnest
"Ultimately, the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or friendship, is conversation, and conversation must have a common basis." - De Profundis
"To be in love is to surpass oneself."
- Sibyl Vane in Dorian Gray
Ah! This is where Oscar really makes my heart sing. For the idea of Romance in great art and literature, and indeed, life itself, is not simply about Romantic comedies, champagne and vegan chocolate cake. (although they all are, of course, simply wonderful!) But much more than that, it is also a belief in an approach to life that leaves you incredibly vulnerable, but which also opens the heart and soul to the wonder and beauty of existence, and human relations in a spectacular, Revelatory way. For being a Romantic is a way of being in the world, and it is not about just having one date a year for an anniversary or on Valentine's Day, for example, but a complete way of seeing the world, and of feeling about everything that exists. It makes one more sensitive to nature, to music, to the arts in general, and helps you to see people in a more subtle way, "in their real, as in their ideal relations." As I've allowed the ideas of Romance to take on deeper meaning in my innermost self, it has encouraged me to enrich my perception of people and the world immensely. For instance, I wonder if many people think of their partners in the way I think of my wife, Lydia. For each time I look at her, I am intensely aware of how she has extraordinary elan vital (life force) and has elements of Greek myth in her innermost being, in brilliant abundance, and yet, they are so naturally a part of her very essence that I don't think she herself is that aware of them. To her it's as natural as the colour of her eyes. But I witness her multiple selves every day. For instance, as well as her day-to-day self, the kind of self we all have, in Spring she is the effervescent goddess of Spring, Primavera; in Summer she's a Mermaid of the Sea, and in Autumn she is the mesmerising witch, Lilith of Halloween. In her career and learning she always makes me recall the goddess of health and rejuvenation, Hygeia, and when she's feeling particularly cheeky, she's as playful and full of mischief as Euphrosyne or Iambe, among a myriad of others. And if it wasn't for the ideas of Romance and Romanticism, I doubt very much whether I would have ever learned to be able to view her and life in such a rich and poetic way. And let's face it, men are not exactly encouraged to think in this way, are they? It's not the kind of thing you learn in school or from mainstream media, is it? It's more about fuel guzzling cars, muscular strength, business, conquest, sporting prowess and porn, isn't it? But that view of things is based firmly in Reality and to me it is incredibly vulgar. Romanticism as a philosophy wants to do far more than that. It denies nothing about the probable facts of life, in that there is no creator, no Heaven where we go when we die and meet up again with loved ones we've lost, faces up to the terrible knowledge that we and everyone and everything we love will eventually pass away, and acknowledges that much of life is down to sheer chance. But it sees all of this, refuses to deny these harsh realities, yet still encourages us to embrace Life in all its sheer mystery, uncertainty, euphoria and pain, and then makes it its mission to encourage us to drain every last drop of joy and Beauty from the life that we are given. It's as if it wants us to see deeper than the surface, and to plunge into the unconscious of not only ourselves but the universe itself. To try and figure out why something rather than nothing exists. To see the forces and drives behind everything that lives, and how the myths of gods and goddesses tell us fundamental truths about ourselves and existence. It also understands that many of our natural drives are animal instincts, and that the only way to make them noble and spiritual is to make them as artistic as possible. As Oscar writes in Dorian Gray, "Romance exists through repetition, and repetition converts an appetite into an art. We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible." For many of us, it is the best response to life we have. And it is certainly better than Denial, the scourge of our time, whether that be about Global Heating and the Climate Emergency, Covid deniers, or the anti-vaccine brigade, who so desperately want Covid not to exist - so they can go about living the way they were able to do previously - that they will even go as far as denying its existence, or decide that it's "only flu" or a global conspiracy. But as Oscar also knows, Denial is in fact a terrible personal trap. And when it comes to Love, Romance and Desire, it is not only Psychoanalytic thought but also the likes of poet William Blake who would agree with Oscar, no doubt prefiguring Freud when he writes how, "We are punished for our refusals. Every impulse that we strive to strangle broods in the mind and eventually poisons us... The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself."
With Oscar's help, I dearly hope I've learned to see the world for the genuine mystery and miracle it is. And I'm so glad that if anybody were to accuse me of being "too romantic", I would take it as a sincere compliment and it would make me think that perhaps I've gone about things in the right way. We have a quite enchanting array of bird visitors to our little garden (including a lame wood pigeon with a clubbed right food that Lydia christened Byron and who is an absolute inspiration to us), and a quarrel of sparrows, who, when they sing in unison (the Sparrow Chorus, as we call it) are simply breathtaking. These pleasures are so simple and remote and alien to the neoliberal capitalist view of the world as to be almost their polar opposite. If Margaret Thatcher had ever experienced it, I would guess that her only response would have been to see if money could be made from it (probably by caging the beautiful sparrows, and Byron would probably have been denied disability benefits and left to rot). How glad I am that I don't see, hear and experience the world in such a desperately limiting, anti-life way. And then there is my wife, Lydia. We've been together for over twenty years, been in shielding together for eighteen months, and yet she still makes my heart skip a beat every single day and we can still talk for hours on end about every topic under the sun and laugh together till the tears run down our faces. I couldn't have hoped for anything more.
- David Bowie and Iman
"They were more than handsome... they were happy. For them, Romance was not killed by reality. They always felt young."
- Lord Arthur Saville's Crime
4. Empathy
- Alexander McQueen, Chess (2005)
"Are we actually in control? He saw the crooked-back forms of poverty and eld. Were these children of sin and misery predestined to their end? Were they, like him, merely the puppets of a monstrous show? Was there no escape? Were we no better than chessmen, moved by an unseen power? And yet it was not the mystery, but the comedy of suffering that struck him; its absolute uselessness, its grotesque want of meaning. He was amazed at the discord between the shallow optimism of the day, and the real facts of existence."
- Lord Arthur Saville's Crime
I doubt very much that empathy is a word that many people associate with Oscar Wilde if they think about his work and ideas. And yet it is a huge part of Oscar's philosophy of life, whether that be in a fairytale such as The Happy Prince or the extraordinary letter that he wrote in prison, De Profundis. For all his wit and adoration of scandal, Oscar was deeply aware of the vicissitudes of life and I would suggest that at the deepest level, he was fully aware of our interconnectedness and the importance of understanding and compassion in the way we live our lives. Of course, he failed many times, for he, like each one of us, is human, and he hurt many people because of his amour fou (mad love) for Bosie, none more so than himself. When he was released from prison, he campaigned tirelessly for prison reform, informing the world of the sadistic cruelties being inflicted on already broken prisoners, and even children caught in the prison system. And on a personal level, he even wanted to console Bosie, even though it was Oscar himself who was languishing and suffering dreadfully in jail. I think he knew only too well that fortune has all of us in its grip, and when misfortune arrives, the only way we can retain our humanity is to feel empathy and try and relieve another person's misfortune and suffering when it inevitably falls on them. Not something that sits well with neoliberal individualism, though, of course, hence Boris Johnson saying, "let the bodies pile high" so that business can carry on as normal during a devastating global pandemic. It is also worth noting that Oscar was also more than aware that life works in mysterious ways. For it wasn't only his selfish and thoughtless behaviour that led to his life falling apart disastrously, but his supreme kindness also. For after finally managing to separate from Bosie after another of their ferocious scenes, a few days later Oscar read in the paper that Bosie's brother had died in a tragic shooting accident. Out of compassion for Bosie and his family's suffering, he helped in whatever way he could and he and Bosie were soon after reconciled, and it wasn't long after this that Bosie's father started the campaign of hate against Oscar which led to him being imprisoned. Reflecting on this whilst in prison, Oscar wrote in De Profundis: "The gods are strange. It is not of our vices only that they make instruments to scourge us. They bring us to ruin through what is good, gentle, humane, loving. But for my pity and affection for you and your family, I would not be weeping now in this terrible place." What a conundrum this life we live is. But Oscar knew only too well that empathy is a vital ingredient if we intend to live our best lives, as without it, we are likely to turn into monstrous, insensitive capitalist machines who would prefer that "the bodies pile high" rather than try and do everything to prevent that from happening. And of course, nothing has changed since Oscar's day in that how we live (and, indeed, whether we will still have a planet to live on) as a society depends entirely on us not only focusing on ourselves, but on thinking of the larger world and changing our behaviour for the greater good, despite what the far Right, anti-vaccine, non mask and Climate Emergency deniers say.
"He had to choose between living for himself and living for others, and terrible though the task laid ahead of him was, yet he knew that he must not suffer selfishness to triumph over love. Sooner or later we are all called upon to
decide on the same issue - of us all,
the same question is asked."
- Lord Arthur Saville's Crime
5. Conclusion: What Makes a Good Life?
- Two other great inspirations:
Tim Booth & his wife Kate Shela
"I did it to the full - as one should do
with everything one does"
- Oscar in De Profundis
"The only people I would care to be with now are artists and people who have suffered: those who know what beauty is, and those who know what sorrow is: nobody else interests me. Nor am I making any demands on life."
- Oscar in De Profundis
When we studied De Profundis in class, I think I surprised a few people by telling them that De Profundis is a text that I often turn to when I'm feeling sad and low, and the amount of times it has helped to get me through scary, sometimes terrifying hospital admissions are so many that I've lost count. It is a sombre piece of art, but above all, for me, it always helps me not only as a balm, but for its sense of hope. I think I've described it sometimes as my Bible as it is so full of wisdom, love, compassion and grace. Oscar describes how he suffered so terribly in prison that he longed to die. But slowly and surely, he looked deep inside himself and found that he could emerge and love life as much as he had ever done, only in a different way. Our reasons for feeling distraught are obviously very different. But when I've been in hospital or at home, coughing up blood and desperately hoping that the IV antibiotics will stop it happening, whilst all the time hoping also that my CF hasn't turned a corner and that I might not have long left on this beautiful planet, as an atheist, I have found no other text that can help at that time more than De Profundis. There is such wisdom contained in its pages. About life, love, loss, beauty, death... it touches on every important subject. And it has helped me (and still does) remember that every moment is precious and that we should live life to the full whilst not giving in to the hypocritical moralising voices around us, have the courage to not deny the realities of existence, and learn to accept that eventually, everything, everywhere, ends. And in these insane times, as I enter my 547th day of shielding and we face a world with Covid, Covid deniers, Climate Emergency and heaven knows what else, Oscar's words seem more prescient than ever. But how else has Oscar inspired me and our modern culture?
- Oscar Wilde Pop Art
by Ramsdale
Anyone who has read my previous blog posts will know that I adore the glam element in music. And for me, Oscar was the first glam pop star. Without him, I doubt if Bowie, The London Suede, Roxy Music, Manic Street Preachers, St. Vincent and a whole array of artists would have been the way they are. For in their work (and personal lifestyles) they have brought together two ideas that are usually thought to be in opposition and proved it is actually possible to have both: style AND substance. Oscar Wilde has been a huge influence on this philosophy, and his life and work showed that it was perfectly capable to have depth and meaning, and great style, and that they didn't have to be exclusive. He was also a dynamic rebel, who loathed the hypocrisy of the religious and the Puritan moralists. Whenever I've talked to other people who also consider Oscar to be a hero, they all talk about how he encourages us to be authentic, as well. And how badly does our current culture need people to walk it as they talk it? If everyone who quoted Buddhism and such then behaved in the way they talked, how much better the world would be. But people in the main just want to LOOK as if they are fine, compassionate, unselfish individuals. In reality, they usually don't care about anything other than themselves. And this is what Oscar despises: "Live Your Truth," would be his message, and if you behave selfishly, don't then go and pretend on Facebook and Social Media that you're a Patron Saint of Compassion and Empathy.
Politically also, Oscar has made a huge impact. He is an LGBTQ hero (and martyr) to many, and his revolutionary ideas about Socialism would still have many a Tory hurling their copy of Oscar's The Soul of Man Under Socialism essay at their servant's wall in an apoplectic rage. For as Oscar writes, "The proper aim is to try and reconstruct society on such a basis that poverty will be impossible... Under Socialism, there will be no living in fetid dens and bringing up unhealthy children in the midst of impossible and absolutely repulsive surroundings. Each member of the society will share in the general prosperity and happiness of the society."
- Spud in T2: Trainspotting (2017)
And finally, wherever possible, he urges us to love life in all its strange wonder and baffling mystery. As Peter Shaffer writes in his play Equus, in a line that could quite easily have been written by Oscar himself: "Worship... Worship all that you can see. And then more will appear." This is the essence of Oscar's philosophy in my opinion. And because of life's strange vicissitudes, we should tread carefully whilst fully embracing the joys that we are given as a gift to be treasured. And a final thought to leave with you with, for now, dear reader, before we meet again. Would you like to know something extraordinarily uncanny, something that sent a shiver racing up and down my spine when I discovered it? It was quite clear to both Lydia and myself when we met that there was an intense connection between the two of us, and it was almost as if we intuitively knew that we were destined to have a very important role in each other's lives. Imagine then, if you can, the thrill that seemed (and still seems to me) to suggest that otherworldly influences were aligning with the stars to bring us together when I realised that my literary hero, Oscar Wilde, actually shares a birthday with my very fine lady herself! It stunned me then, and it stuns me still now. Who knows if these kinds of coincidences have any meaning, but I personally take it as a very, very sure sign, that somewhere in the Great Beyond, the moon was organising the tides and the spheres in a particular direction, and that it was clearly written in the stars that Lydia and me would meet and have the relationship that we do. It certainly makes perfect sense to me. And although I can't for one second believe myself to be An Ideal Husband, I am certainly more than aware of the sacred bond between us and I try to be the best life-partner than I can possibly be, and I try to help Lydia fulfil her dreams and hopes as best as I can, just as she always does for me. And if I'd been given the choice of who I would spend almost twenty months shielding with during a global pandemic before it started, and with perhaps many more months to come yet, she is the one I would have chosen in a heartbeat.
I still also try to recall Oscar's words about being content with having little if I start to get too despondent about how much I am missing being able to do the kind of things I mentioned earlier: meeting friends for coffee, going to the theatre or the cinema, for example, and although I'm already very used to having to forego things I would adore to do because of my CF, the pandemic has taken things to an entirely different level. But I have my imagination, and as I write this, I have the music and ambience of The Gold Room at the Overlook Hotel from the film The Shining playing 1920s music in the background on You Tube, which at least helps give me the illusion of being a part of the world, and it actually feels rather splendid. I have a marvellous cup of Darjeeling tea in front of me to savour once it's cooled enough to drink, and I recall what Oscar wrote in De Profundis when he was preparing to leave prison and trying to imagine what the world might look for him when he was released, knowing that he would be practically broke and considered to be a pariah to the society he once adored:
Indeed.
And so, thank you to you all for reading my blog on Oscar Wilde and how he has influenced the way I respond to the world. I hope you are all having a lovely Summer during these extraordinary times that we are living through, and I will leave you with a few more fine words from the great dandy and wordsmith himself. And until next time, I remain, as always,
Your Nocturnal Butterfly. xxx
"It is sweet to dance to violins,
When love and life are fair,
To dance to flutes, to dance to flutes,
is delicate and rare."
- The Ballad of Reading Gaol
"Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you... Be afraid of nothing." - Dorian Gray
"What gods do you worship? Or do you worship any gods? There are those who have no gods to worship. The ones who wear long beards and brown cloaks have no gods to worship. They argue with each other without realising
that the gods laugh at them."
- La Sainte Courtesan
"The Ghost made me see what life is, and what Death signifies, and why Love is stronger than both."
- The Canterville Ghost
