Well, it's been another very difficult year, and it didn't surprise me at all to see this reflected in the music that I listened to most on Spotify this year, as Spotify Wrapped was published yesterday. Previous readers will no doubt recall that I have issues with Spotify Wrapped, as it can never be entirely accurate, as music or podcasts that were available at the start of the year are obviously going to have more playtime than anything released towards the end of the year. But, of course, it's not meant to be taken seriously, it's just a bit of fun and an interesting talking point with acquaintances about their yearly diet of music and podcasts as well. Having been through a very traumatic year, which included my first bronchoscopy, a very unwanted new CF-related diagnosis, hospital admissions and having to move out of our flat for two weeks whilst work was done by the landlord on damp and mould problems in our bedroom, kitchen and bathroom, which caused my issues and led to the new diagnosis in the first place, it's little to no wonder that this year's list is what it is. As last time, here's a brief rundown.
My third most listened to song was, no surprise to anyone who has read my recent Roxy Music post, was their brooding and eerie 'No Strange Delight':
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVuYvDDOg2k
My second most played song on Spotify for this year was the Manics' glorious, beautiful, haunting, ABBA-kissed hymn to winter and nostalgia, Still Snowing in Sapporo. It's the opening track on their most recent album, The Ultra Vivid Lament, and I can remember clearly the first time Lydia and I listened to it, as we sat in the car whilst looking out at the sea as we continued one of our much treasured rituals of listening to any new albums by our favourite artists, together, in full for the very first time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Tl4BZ2dhbw
And, my most listened to song of this year was a new release, by the The xx band member, Oliver Sim, with a simply breath-taking cameo by Jimmy Somerville. It's hard for me to actually write why this song took such a hold on me as it deals with a situation that has such an uncanny, although very different in detail to mine, that it's actually pretty unnerving. For in the summer, I was made seriously unwell by the mould that I have just discussed, and the symptoms, without going into too much detail, were gross. And this song deals with Oliver Sim's struggles with his feelings of being hideous because he has been diagnosed with HIV. Our illnesses are different ones, but my CF symptoms in general, made so much worse during the mould flare up that made me so very unwell, are, well, to be honest about it, hideous.
But I didn't even realise this would be the song's subject matter when I first heard it, and it was Oliver's incredible voice that grabbed me initially, and I can even recall thinking, "wow, this fella sounds like a baritone Rufus Wainwright." But as I listened, the words also struck me like an arrow, and then when Jimmy Somerville came in at the end, like a falsetto angel replying to Oliver and ensuring him that chronic illness doesn't make him unlovable, and how he should "be brave, have trust, and be willing to be loved," I was gone. Floods of tears poured down my face and I could hardly believe that a pop song such as this, written in 2022, where everything is now surface and our culture almost demands that we constantly show only our sunny sides, or our cliched problems, could actually exist. It took me back to Queen's Innuendo album, which also dealt with illness and mortality and was another album that I took to my heart. As with Innuendo, this was a revelation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3r4I6tz72Q4
As always, my most listened to podcast was Chart Music, which is pretty much untouchable in my podcast listening, and that is my main take outs from this year's Spotify Wrapped.
To finish, here's ABBA:
"And I say 'thank you for the music,
For giving it to me."
Amen, to that.
Until next time,
I remain...
Your Nocturnal Butterfly
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